Why didn't my life work out the way I thought?

Why do we have problems? Why didn’t life work out the way I wanted?

I can answer those questions with a balloon animal. 

When I was growing up I wanted to go into computer programming. I got my first computer when I was nine. Now I know that isn’t saying much in today’s world but when I was nine the computer was just a keyboard that was hooked up to the TV. There wasn’t a mouse or a way to save anything. It was just a keyboard.

I loved it. I would spend countless hours writing code. Fast forward a few years and I headed to college in search of a degree in programming computers. However, the college I attended didn’t have any computer programming classes. It had a “computer science” degree, but students had to major in either electronics or business and when they were finished they had a “computer science degree.” I went into the electronics track not knowing that I needed to be good in math. There was so… much... math. So much math in fact that I changed majors after two semesters then changed it again after another few semesters. I eventually dropped out of college and started working. 

I have often wondered what my life would have been like if I had gone to a college that specialized in computer programming and I continued in the computer industry. Every time I think about this, I realize that I probably wouldn’t have gotten married to my wonderful wife, and my kids wouldn’t have been born. 

Over the years I have had many different jobs. For some of those jobs, I miss working there, for others, I wish I would have never applied to in the first place. Some of those jobs had bosses who I liken to Pharoah and I was an Israelite. Others had me working with coworkers who wouldn’t pull their own weight or were unbearable to work with. For a long time, I wondered how my life would have been different if I had gotten this job or made that decision differently.

 I realize now that if I hadn’t had all of those jobs I never would have met all of the good people that I worked with. I would not have been able to influence them and they in turn would not have been able to influence me. I also wouldn’t have learned all of the valuable life lessons that I did. 

That made me think about balloon animals.

One of the things I learned how to do was make balloon animals. I can twist those balloons into all kinds of things. Those knots and twists turn a balloon into something awesome. Without all of those knots, we would just have a boring balloon. Now if the balloon had feelings it would probably tell us that it doesn’t like being twisted or tied into knots. It would probably say that those knots are uncomfortable and unwanted.

Those things that don’t go the way we want are like knots in our lives. They aren’t fun at all. However, God knows what he is doing. So, if you didn’t get that job or that thing didn’t work out, you weren’t meant to be there or do that. All of those knots we have to face in our lives shape us. Just like the balloon sculpture, it is those knots that make us who we are today. 

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”Psalm 139:14a